All the single ladies...

So, WHAT does a single lady, who wants to keep herself unspotted from the world-type thing, handle living alone do?

Shoot...I was hoping YOU'D have the answer.

I've far from got it right.  AND I DOUBT that by the end of this blog I will have some epiphany.  In fact...I KNOW I won't.  Here it is...9 p.m....on a school night...home from a long day and almost the weekend.  How am I going to get through the night?  Already I'm thinking I'll just go to bed and ask God to please knock me out.  It seems that even just thinking about wanting someone by my side isn't going to help the situation...it just hurts more.

"they aren't worth the trouble"
"it's like raising another kid"
"I just want mine to take a vacation so I can have time to myself"
"but you're single...you should be having fun"
"you don't need one...you're not ready"

Ever hear any of those?
Ever want to punch someone in the face because they've said that to you?
Ever have repeated them over and over and over until you ALMOST believe it?
Ever cried yourself to sleep because it hurts so bad because your heart feels like it's being slammed onto the ground and stomped on and crushed into bits of flesh?

The fact is, I'm a single woman who doesn't sleep around.  I don't go to clubs or bars.  I go to school, raise my kids, and on Sunday do my church duties.  I've been doing this for almost 7 years now.  I can't say that I'm a perfect woman or that I should be canonized into sainthood...far from it.  I'm a woman that has to do what she has to do in order to improve her situation and I'll do it when it hurts.

It hurts.

"keep doing what's right and God will bless you"
"stay busy and you won't have time to worry about it"
"it's not time right NOW, but one day you'll find someone...I just know it"
"he's just not here yet"
"you should be happy alone or with someone"
"once you stop looking then you'll find someone"

Ever hear any of those?
Ever want to punch someone in the face because they've said that to you?
Ever have repeated them over and over and over until you ALMOST believe it?
Ever cried yourself to sleep because it hurts so bad because your heart feels like it's being slammed onto the ground and stomped on and crushed into bits of flesh?

Just sorting things out.  I'll keep this blog and repost it again, I'm sure.  I don't expect a solution.  In fact...a warning to the wise...DO NOT POST A SOLUTION.  I will unfriend you, hide you, or whatever I have to do in order to cut you off from my virtual world.  This is MY world.  I can do what I want with it.  If you really want to help, then just post a sad face and I'll know you commiserate with me.  That's all I need.  For now, I'm going to bed and ask God to knock me out.  I'll be one more day closer to something better.