HaPpY bIrThDaY tO ME...?

Every birthday I look back at the past year and try to see if I had made any progress in one form or another.  This year is special because it marks the end of one decade and the beginning of another.  I spent half of my 39th year looking upon this date with impending doom feeling as if this were the end of my life and to brace myself for the impact.  My friends tried to console me.  "You don't LOOK like you're 40!" they say.  Trying to win over my vain side.  This was a very effective method, I will admit.  Did they know that the harsh reality would get me soon enough and they were just buying precious time?  They would also tell me of all of the wondrous things everyone told me about turning 40.  How liberating it is.  How free you feel.  That you FINALLY don't care what other people think.  You say what's on your mind and if someone doesn't like it...TOUGH!  "Come...be 40 with us!" exclaim the sirens.  "Here you rest in safety and peace!" they shrill.

How kind of them; however...I was bitterly disappointed.

I woke up this morning to the alarm clock.  WHAT?  You mean to tell me that 40 year olds wake up to alarm clocks like everyone else?  I was under the impression that when you're 40, it rained bubbles from the ceiling and muscular men caress you awake and call you names like 'baby' and 'my love'.  WHAT THE HECK?  No...I woke up to my annoying cell phone ring that sounds like bad 70's porn music.  Things haven't been different yet this morning...so I'm thinking the rest of the day will be the same, boring day like it was yesterday.

EXCEPT...

That I have to get my license renewed.

40 was supposed to be liberating!  40 was the year of the dragon for me!  I've slayed and slew and conquered and beaten!  40 was going to usher in a new age of fun...of parties...of relishing in victory!  I was going to enjoy the spoils of my conquest with lust (yes...I said it...LUST) and vigor!  You mean to tell me that IT'S JUST LIKE BEING 39?

I want my money back.